Guh

I am just..whiped today. I am not sure why I didn’t do much besides staying up until 1am which for me is like, insane. I can remember a time when I would regularly stay up until 3-4 and manuever through life with nary a bit of problem. Now? I am stumbling through life, bleary eyed and yawning, trying to remember what I was doing ten seconds ago.

Couple that with serious gauge issues with the socks that rock and you have a bleary eyed cranky woman who is trying to keep it together and failing miserably.

Yesterday was fun, I didn’t actually see a single fireworks even though I bought some and we went to Tir’s house to see the big city’s display. I just, between the baby fussing at the point where the first display started and the heat and exhaustion of the socks on the second one I wasn’t up for it. Hunter I am told had a blast and the boys (Gabe excluded) all enjoyed themselves. I think about though on some of the things I said while I was there and I am regretful. I tend to get into a public situation and let my bravado speak for me. I need to work on that. I know I come off very..dominat and intense. I can be like that..I can think like that but I don’t really mean it. I just want to be the funniest, to shine.  I need to step back though, and realize that I don’t have to say every thing that jumps to my head.

I don’t have to be the biggest ball busting bitch there. I really don’t. Because then? people -think- I’m a big ball buster. It’s amazing how that works out and then my feelings get squished and I am helpless to do anything it feels like. I need to stop and think and not let my mouth run.

In other news? I got a bath seat for the baby and tonight the boys both took a bath together for the first time. I can not express how beautiful the moment was for me. Hunter was teaching him to splash (yay) and they were both laughing and squealing and it was everything I ever wanted in becoming a mother.  I am so glad that they connect like they do and hope that it only gets better and better.

Lets make this post even -more- disjointed and of kilter, Tomorrow is my first day of Mommy and Baby swim class and Hunter’s second round through the first level swim classes. I am looking forward to this and trying to figure out how I can manage it all in the same breath. It should be fairly fun though and I am hoping that Gabe doesn’t loose his little -mind- and squall like an angry howler monkey when we get in. He is..not a fan of cold water.

I think though, that this is a fairly decent entry and at least it is up and running right? Right. Ok here’s a blast from the past. I can’t believe he was this small only six months or so ago. It is amazing how they can grow.

Gabe December 08 first weeks alive.

Gabe December '08 first weeks alive.

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