God help me

We have come to a major decision. I am entirely behind it, but at the same time I am freaking out. Because….dude.

We have decided to not put Hunter back into daycare-summer camp. He -hates- it, he hasn’t made friends in a month, kids are teasing him, and he isn’t getting what we were promised which was a prepping for Kindergarten. I am paying for this, and not cheaply especially for us and it’s just not a good thing any more. So I have pulled him out and the money we were going to use for this we’re goin to throw into more lessons and more going to the zoo and museams and playing with other people and maybe enjoying his first summer rather than loathing to go to school every day.

See? I -can- be taught.

Hunter in his second week of swim lessons.

Hunter in his second week of swim lessons.

Never think that I am not freaking out about this decision. Three days together and us and the boy is already wearing on my nerves, but my nerves are not the issue here. The issue is that he’s not happy where he is and that means that something has to change. I will work it out, I will find a way to balance him and Gabe and make sure that both of them are happy and healthy. This is what being a mother is about, figuring out a way to make it work even at the expense of our patience and tolerance. We will do other things, we will get out of the house, we will be busy and engaged and it will be something that worked. I think about these things a lot, think about the give and take of things, about the way that being a parent is a never ending cycle that you embark on to make it so your kids can potentially embark on it and at the sae time I love it. But this is one of those times where being a mom means that I cut more into my life and time and I realize that this is what I signed up for.

Today we’re going to go over to some friend’s house and hang out, do things, be social. I am tired already, dragging butt, fighting my hormones and fatigue that comes iwth them. But He is happy, in the kitchen playing lego batman and talking about going swimming again. I will see if I can’t perhaps sign him up for two classes, or if not take me and the baby into swimming with him every day. Something to get us out and work off some energy.

Yesterday I napped with the boys,  the baby’s sweet body pressed up against mine, his head nestled against my chest, Hunter was curved around the outside of Gabe, my hand on his side and we drifted and talked sleepily to one another. It reminded me of last summer when I was pregnant, Gabe between us still but we were a good happy family. It is one of those memories I never want to forget, that I write down here so that some day I will be able to look back at this and remember with a clarity that time has robbed me of.

Ah well I am rambling now and I need to relieve Loren of Baby duty. So I will leave you all with one final picture. Because this is how we roll around here.

This kid is gonna kill us.

This kid is gonna kill us.

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