Dispatches from the trenches

The baby boot camp continues unabated. I’ve held firm on a lot of levels, but I can feel myself wearing down. He’s a wily strong opponent and he knows my weakness. All he has to do is continue the current battle plan and I’m sunk.

His plan is simple, but brilliant. All he does is…never leave me alone. You know what I mean, there’s a small person underfoot at all times. Going to the bathroom, walking down the hall, stepping into the kitchen, all of it is punctuated by a shrill tin bark voice telling you to ‘wait for me! wait for me!’. I haven’t had a minute of peace in 24 hours. Ontop of the whole not letting me go anywhere, he now has the habit of clinging and climbing all over me if I happen to sit down for more than five minutes. Oh and he’s chattering at me the entire time. So it’s like living with an over hyper monkey who wants to be ontop of your head and is screeching.

Send. Help.

So this morning I gave in and put on Elmo. Sue me, I needed at least an hour to wake up and deal with the child and so I buckled.  Besides, it’s educational right? It’s not like I’m feeding him fluff or something that will rot his brain. It might rot -my- brain but he’s learning all sorts of stuff. Yes I am totally justifying things but not a single one of you can blame me.

But, today has plans. Yes it does, it involves perhaps a drooling nap or two, picking up the house and most likely cooking some sort of a dinner and then….? Knitting night! Yay!! everyone get excited!!

I kid, I’m looking forward to knitting night, especially since we’ve got a boy involved now and we’re going to teach him to play with pointy sticks. Magnus is an interesting bloke, he walked that fine line of me wanting to bash his head in with a rock for a while before he and I clicked. He’s got that catty too quick wit that I tend to adore, when it’s not directed towards me. It took both of us being catty in a new direction before I realized we were catty soul mates. That and he tells amazing stories that crack me up.

Normally he’s part of the Monday night gaming crew that we are a part of but when he heard that there was a Sunday night (sometimes Wensday night depending on our schedules) knitting group he piped up that he wanted to join. We didn’t believe him at first but he insisted so tonight we’re dragging him in. I am secretly hoping that this will bring up the knitting night to a level of coolness. I mean having a boy makes it more than 20-30 something women sitting around bitching and knitting. Right?

The really tragic  thing is that for the first time in a long time we have child care but no where to go that isn’t child free. Unless Lissa is up for knitting tonight we’re all going to have to be at some place that is not at all without the trappings of children. Which is actually the whole reason for knitting night. The whole getting away from kids thing. Ah well at least we will have brought in a boy so that when I knit in class now and the other students give me shit I can say that straight boys do it with me.

I am totally deluding myself. I’m never going to be cool.


1 Comment »

  1. 1
    tristis1 Says:

    hmm… maybe we can lock and bar everyone else out of the garage 😛 that way we’ll still be childless! It’s an idea!

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